I'm proud of you.
I really am.
As many times as I scream at you. Yelling you're not good enough. Reminding yourself how stupid you are and nothing is good to come.
I'm proud.
I'm proud because I never thought you could do it again. Once I caved I thought it was all over from here. Might as well not try.
I didn't think I was strong enough.
But it's been 130 days since I last hurt myself and I'm excited every time I can really smile.
I'm kept on edge at times but I know my friends won't let me fall again. I know if they knew when I was down they would be there, even if I don't give them a chance to see when I'm weak. I know how vulnerable people are when they show you weakness, and I take pride that people trust me enough to let me in. It's just gonna take me a while longer to be able to do it myself.
But for now. I'm happy. I'm proud.
And now I can walk around and wear my true smile.
Because some days that smile can make others truly smile.
Inside the mind of a bi-polar artist who just needs somewhere to get things out of her head.
No comments:
Post a Comment