This is what gets to me.

Sleep is supposed to be the best escape. Like people say it's like being dead for a while just without the commitment. But it's not like that for me. 

As I drift off into the land of mindful lucidity I become subject to the minds torture. Not even everything is bad, I mean sure I have nightmares, but this type of pain just builds and builds. I'm so irritable right now and seeing my mistakes haunt me night after night, like a reminder of how much I suck, it's driving me insane. 

I'm so mad all the time.

I'm so mad