Hidden Truths

During Self-Acceptance Week I used a massive amount of time to make a video on self-identity and acceptance. It featured many students and showed a collage of people saying what they accept about themselves and things they're working on. Then there was a white board part in the movie where people could write something like "I am beautiful, smart" ect. That whole week I tried to come up with something to say in the movie. Something of why I accept myself or why I work so hard to try to make people feel like they're accepted. I drew a blank. Now the time has come and passed for the video but the questions in my head have not. I know why it's so hard for me to talk about acceptance. Growing up I was that odd fat kid that everyone picked on. I sat at the back of the class room and barley spoke. It's been years and I'm still trying to shake that image. I want people to think I've accepted myself but when it comes down to it. I haven't. I didn't want to speak about it because I know it's a lie. Why talk about something I know nothing about in my sense. So why do I try so hard to accept people? I wasn't accepted most of my life why should I offer it?
Because I know how it feels to be left out.
I know how it feels to be alone.
I know how it feels to not be accepted by my peers.
I know how it feels to not be accepted by myself.
This is why I offer help. Feelings that still rip me to shreds today motivate me to help others with their burdens tomorrow. There is still a chance for you, even if it takes all that I have in me I will show you this. If there is weight I can take off your shoulders I will gladly put it on mine because I don't see my load getting smaller anytime soon. You. Are. Enough. I just wish I could see that.