Fuck this rut.
I thought it would be easier.
It's not easy.
Why can't I stop.
Why did I start again.
I can't handle this.
I've heard the phrase "you're strong" and friends have even said that they think I'm one of the strongest people they know. It happened even last night.
Don't make me laugh.
I'm not sure how that makes me feel. It makes me wonder if they're wondering why the hell I'm still here. I should have been gone a long time ago.
Then that makes me wonder why I'm still holding on.
Can I take this much longer?
Fuck being strong. I'm weak.
So weak.
Am I meant to hold on at all.
It's useless.
Maybe I'm just here to teach people a lesson in the end.
Because one day. This will come to an end.
Inside the mind of a bi-polar artist who just needs somewhere to get things out of her head.
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