Pet Lovers Anonymous

Ever since I was a little girl I was lucky enough to have parents that let me have pets. We had the family dogs and cats but it also came with hamsters, rats, fish, even hermit crabs. I loved the feeling of taking care of something and I was really good at it. I can't even think of a pet of mine that didn't make it to their old age before passing. But nothing tops the day where I finally adopted my first cat, Ellie. My friend Shane and I decided that we could finally handle a cat. We have our first house away from home and we thought it would be a good fit, and it was. She was better than we could have ever expected. She loved everyone in the house, loved all the attention. It seemed like everything was going so good.
But I messed up.
After all the drama I had to take Ellie away.
Our realtor found her and made me get rid of her so I took her to my parents. One of the hardest decisions I had ever made.  I could have been like the normal me, hide her for a while and bring her back, but this time I just couldn't risk to further my mistake and get my other roommates evicted if she was caught again.
This decision seriously still haunts me today. I can't help but think about how much I screwed up. How much I hurt my friends. And how much I hurt Ellie. I know this wasn't easy for anyone and the thought of how I just threw a bunch of extra responsibility to my parents makes me feel even worse. After everything happened I couldn't eat for about a week. I just felt sick all the time and I'm pretty sure every single smile I gave was a lie further than I could ever explain. Animals have a way straight to my heart and I miss Ellie more than anyone will ever know. The thought of coming back home everyday from class was a little less shitty when I looked forward to her sitting on me begging for attention and love. Ellie could even tell how I was feeling, even if it sounds crazy. Usually late at night Ellie would find herself in my bed, jumping up then making herself comfortable. One night I had a really bad night, I was crying. She made her way to my bed as usual but when she jumped up she immediately began licking my hand, she didn't stop, wouldn't stop. But it put a smile on my face as she lightly licked my cheek.
I can't believe how much I messed up.
I just want you back.