Forgiven

Maybe it's because I've grown up. Maybe it's because I feel like I barley know you anymore but the years have flown by and I think I'm ready to say it.
Reading my blog entries of you leaving brought back so many different feelings, some still make me tear up.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you.
I've seen you once in the past four years and I let my feelings overtake me rather than actually seeing how you were. I turned and walked away when I should have given you a hug.
I'm sorry but it was just too hard. If only you knew how hard. I couldn't even talk for an hour or two after we ran into each other. People kept asking me what was wrong but I couldn't even respond.
You were my best friend.
It's hard to see posts like this. We used to be so close.

July 6th 2008: Who Are You
"Who are you to be judging me. You're the one who left. You're the one who brought my entire family to a screeching hault. You interupted me at work and left me "emotionally incapable". You're the one that left my mom screaming in painfull tears and cries on the ground and then almost breaks her leg against the couch. You're away in your little "safety" zone while all fuckin hell breaks loose here. And even though you hurt my family so bad when they were offering help, I still love you, I want to see you happy, I want to finally see you change back, you're different and i dont like it. You care too much about what people think about you, just be yourself, and come home."


I still love you.